“Levity is a mind-set,” said Naomi Bagdonas, a lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business who advises executives on leading with humor and humanity. “It’s looking for reasons to be delighted rather than disappointed in the world around you.”
Look for reasons to be delighted rather than disappointed.
Wouldn't we all benefit from having this message popping up around us on post-its, needle-pointed pillows and Insta feeds? I thought it was just me, but it turns out our minds are actually wired in a relentless game of “find the flaw.” I might be late to the party on this information, but it is worth repeating even for those in the know. As humans we have something called a “negativity bias.” According to Psychology Today, “Your brain is simply built with a greater sensitivity to unpleasant news. The bias is so automatic that it can be detected at the earliest stage of the brain's information processing.” It is widely believed that this reflex served a purpose at one point. It was born of a need for survival, helping us anticipate danger. Following Bagdonas’ advice, I should be delighted about this instinct that kept us alive for hundreds of thousands of years. However, sometimes reaching for positivity feels more like stretching a rubber band. Once the tension is released, my mind can easily snap back to, as my kids like to imitate, “OH NO!!” mode.
Fortunately, I’m so aware of this I have dedicated my worklife to fighting the negativity tide and helping others do the same. Or as I always add when directing people to look for laughter where you least expect it, I’m not Jane Goodhall talking about the chimps, I’m a chimp! Or for the East Coast oldsters, I’m the Sy Sperling of laughter! The famous hair plug dude from the ‘80’s, “I’m not just the owner, I’m a customer too!”
What can we do to combat our negative instincts? If you guessed laugh more, you’re in the right blog! Here are 4 ways to fight the glass half empty reflex:
- Write down your big negative ideas. Exaggerate them to the point of ridiculousness. Then tear up the paper in eensy weensy pieces bellowing “Goodbye negativity bias!” Mwaahaa haa!!
- Say hello to your negativity bias, give it the recognition it craves. Much like Glenn Close in the 1987 thriller Fatal Attraction, your negative thoughts will not be ignored. In fact, like the bunny boiler, they will only get worse if you try to ignore them.
Or, take another approach:
- Just say no to “toxic positivity,” which asks you to keep a positive mindset no matter what is happening at work! Be aware of our human instinct to focus on the negative, and then have the courage to calmly and clearly express where you are feeling frustrated. No need to be a slave to pessimism but this does not mean assuming a Pollyannna persona.
- Thank your “negativity bias,” for saving your life, your family’s life, the dog’s life and likely some of your ancestors. Remind yourself that you are fine and whatever horror it is envisioning is, as the Buddhists say, temporary.
If none of these work I do have a not-funny technique that I’ve learned to slay the dragon of my natural born bias. Hanging to the right of my computer, in 30 pt font, there is a sign I printed pinned to my cork board. Four simple words to glance at when my mind is spinning yarns that make delight illusive.
YOU MAY BE WRONG.
